It’s officially less than one week until we start principal photography. In 72  hours, we enter our first location. A location that  will be both challenging and exciting to shoot in because it’s a big-ass museum, and we will need to be super prepared and efficient and sharp, even though it’s our first day.

first day: all the birds

first day: all the birds

Am I freaking out? Oh my, yes. Am I letting it show? For sure, but not as much as I could be. There are a million tiny details that aren’t completely tied down and the event/production manager in me is having a nuclear-level meltdown. But I also know that we will get through it, because … well, we have to, don’t we?

When I managed a travelling film festival at REEL CANADA, it was often up to me to tie down every little detail for an event. That was my responsibility, as the ‘event lead’ for that day. It was not easy, but  most of the time it was at least something that one human being could do without exploding.

I’m having a tough time letting go of that level of control on this – a project that involves dozens of people, hundreds of thousands of dollars, and more details than any one person could possibly keep in their head.

second day: all the dramatic columns

second day: all the dramatic columns

I know that while it is my job as the producer to make sure every detail is taken care of, it’s also not my job to literally make sure every detail is taken care of, because there aren’t enough hours in a week let alone a day, for the number of details that exist.

I have to trust that other people are also capable of handling their own jobs without my constant oversight, which is both freeing and very difficult and scary. Not being in charge of everything makes me panic that important things will fall through the cracks and it makes me feel like I’m not pulling my weight – like I should be doing everything and the fact that I’m not means I’m a slacker.

Thankfully, the team I’m working with is amazing and great at their jobs.

And yet, here I am, barely done my workday at 10pm (I was up at 6:30am) and I know that it’ll be the same tomorrow and the next day and then we will be shooting and it will be  like  jumping out of an airplane – I’ll just have to have faith that my parachute will open and I won’t die.

Here’s hoping.